I wrote a story…
March 27, 2008
Yes she is based on me and well he… he is based on quite a few different men I have found attractive and have had relationships with but no one was harmed in the making of this erotica.
Mocha.
there is the link:
Don’t read this if you are easily offended.
March 27, 2008
This will be minor Christianity bashing, so for all those who are sensitive to such blasphemous and heretical information should move onward. It is also going to be bashing women and men in general. This is a rant.
I have NEVER been ashamed of who and what I look like, or for that matter, who or what I am. Never. Not since I gained my woman’s form. I have always had attempts made, cheap shots and rude comments about how I am shaped no matter what size I was. It seems that men and women find it fascinating that a woman my current size can still have a waist. But that is neither here nor there… I want to talk about size, pompous posturing and porn.
But let us start with my big beef. I am tired of talking to people that hate themselves. That think that they are better than someone else or think that losing a few pounds will make them better people. That hate what they do as bad habits enough to hate it in others but do it themselves. I dislike smokers; I think it is a disgusting and useless habit. I feel that I can say that because I don’t smoke and never have and hopefully never will. I leave it open because you never know what might happen. But I don’t hate smokers who don’t share their second hand smoke with children. I don’t preach to smokers about their lungs. Because grown ass people will do what they will do regardless.
I listened to a friend of mine sit and pontificate (2: to speak or express opinions in a pompous or dogmatic way) about how people should be ashamed of their bodies when overweight or when displayed in any manner she decides is inappropriate, to me it shows how she is obviously ashamed of her own body. For years I have heard her just about cry about the state her body is in. I have also spent most of the time listening to her nearly nightly runs to Mickey D’s. She makes statements in broad, sweeping manner passing judgment on others and what they do and how they do it. Namely porn and sex are topics in easy reach of her diatribal ( 1 archaic : a prolonged discourse2 : a bitter and abusive speech or writing) spears, but being fat, being ashamed of being fat and being generally self righteous about all above topics doesn’t give her pause nor does she stop to think about exactly how she says what she says. Not that she never makes good points because she does, but the conversation have become so one sided as her side is the only side that gets voiced any more. The only thing she listens to now is what she says and how she says it for the blog that might *hopefully* become a book. Ok that was a cheap shot.
I just can’t see how someone who states that they wear their emotions on their sleeve doesn’t realize that when you say things and don’t contemplate how they are received that you are setting yourself up to be torn to pieces by anyone who listens or reads your words. I am not sure she is ready for the scrutiny that she will receive from people who think less about her and more about how many books they also sell in response to her own.
Now I am not Christian. I don’t pretend to be I don’t want to be but I know enough about the faith from the attempts to spoon fed me the doctrine by well meaning people. I know it isn’t something for me. I don’t relate to God(s)/Goddess(s)/Creative Force/Universe in conventional way. I am just now getting into the study of religion in its earliest forms to see if I feel anything that people say I should. *shrug* But I will be the first one to tell you that blind faith is a VERY bad thing. Believing in something to the extent that you stop thinking isn’t something I believed that God had in mind. If you use the analogy of children and that they grow up at some point. If that holds true then at some point in our development there should come a point where people can think for themselves. Now every child is different and needs different things but you don’t waste time and resources on a child that doesn’t need them. No good parent does anyway.
So what does that mean to me? That God is in everyone and everything. That God is what you need, when you need it. And that it isn’t a one size fits all solution to humanity’s woes but that it a customized solution to your own. Now I could be wrong and I have been before but this works for me. Oh and I am an Atheist moving toward … something. Who knows what?
Now please understand my position on porn and its place in our society. I believe that sex and the sales of sex in one form or another as a basic commodity is as important as the sugar and pork bellies futures on the market. But just like all business it has a very dirty side and it should be regulated, heavily. People are exploited everyday and they don’t have to work in porn to do that. This person that I am speaking about hates porn. She, along with myself, made money using our voices to soothe and entice men to whatever sexual end they saw fit. But I never EVER felt shame or regret for doing so. I have lied, cheated and stole for major corporations and have left feeling like I have laid down and let the customers, my managers and upper management bend me over and fuck me in the ass. I didn’t enjoy one moment of it. But when I do this work I log in and when I have had my fill, not when someone else decides, I log out. I am get up and leave it behind, completely. I don’t get jittery, I don’t dread the sound of my phone ringing, I just take the call and move on. I relish that and protect it.
So in summary, I dislike hypocrites. I detest the sanctimonious and I just think that a policy of live and let live is the best. I am not saying not to look out for evil in its vilest forms. But be pragmatic about what evil is. Be responsible for yourself and your own actions and stop blaming others for things that you should be fixing within yourself.
Mocha
If you were interested in knowing about me…
March 27, 2008
Mainly about how to deal with me.. and this is for my friends and strangers. So if you are interested in how I am …. well this kinda lets you know.
you chose AY – your Enneagram type is EIGHT (aka “The Challenger”).
“I must be strong”
Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.
How to Get Along with Me
- Stand up for yourself… and me.
- Be confident, strong, and direct.
- Don’t gossip about me or betray my trust.
- Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
- Give me space to be alone.
- Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don’t flatter me.
- I often speak in an assertive way. Don’t automatically assume it’s a personal attack.
- When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that’s just the way I am.
What I Like About Being a EIGHT
- being independent and self-reliant
- being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
- being courageous, straightforward, and honest
- getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
- supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
- upholding just causes
What’s Hard About Being a EIGHT
- overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don’t intend to
- being restless and impatient with others’ incompetence
- sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
- never forgetting injuries or injustices
- putting too much pressure on myself
- getting high blood pressure when people don’t obey the rules or when things don’t go right
EIGHTs as Children Often
- are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
- are sometimes loners
- seize control so they won’t be controlled
- fugure out others’ weaknesses
- attack verbally or physically when provoked
- take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings
EIGHTs as Parents
- are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
- are sometimes overprotective
- can be demanding, controlling, and rigid
Renee Baron & Elizabeth WageleThe Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
Whoa….
March 27, 2008
Whoa is all I can say about how grateful I am to not have to at this time work outside my house. I am able to take my calls in the bathtub if I need to if my spine is trying to rip itself out of my back. I might be doing a job that no one else wants to do. I mean really. But I have control of how much money I make. I have control over my situation in such a way that I have never had before.
Feeling grateful,
Mocha
Story for Nilla…
March 27, 2008
So I started my writing career . This story is the lastest one and I am adding it to the site today. I hope you all like it and well I would love to get some imput. I am adding the first couple of paragraphs to see if I can get y’all to read the rest.
Mocha
I was on a mission to Austin to, as my best friend said, “experience all that life would have to offer me”. She is a little long winded but sweet and she had paid for this trip. I was to meet up with her cousin Jamal at a bar for music at the Karma Lounge. She told me that he would be playing and would be more than happy to show me around and stuff if I wanted the company but he would only be available the third night of my time. That was fine with me as I wanted to explore on my own what Austin had to offer before I got carted around the all of the tourist traps.
It was the first real trip I managed in a long time and the last few days were spent in wonderment at my surroundings, Austin was unlike any part of Texas that you hear about in the media. It is a city on a river in the middle of a desert, full of trees and secret places, inhabited by the cool and eclectic, it welcomed me with open arms and said come on in, y’all.
Well if you want to read the rest of it please then you would want to go to
Me as a blonde
March 27, 2008
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Mocha.
P.S. How do you think I look?
Working from Home ROCKS!
March 27, 2008
I do like working from home. I love it. Though I know I am going to have to find a second gig to bring in a little more money. I don’t want to do it outside the home, though I fear I might have to. I might as well get benefits while I am at it. But I just don’t want to end up at a Publix or somewhere else as unpleasant. Geez.
Any ideas. No I won’t do the web cam thing again.. that was a nightmare. They totally sucked.
Mocha.
Stop pretending…
March 27, 2008
I am tired of people pretending to be my friend to get on my cam. Just because I have been on your friends list for years doesn’t mean we are friends. If the only conversation we have ever had revolves around you getting off and me taking off my top then WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. But really only my friends read this kinda shit .
Mocha.
why
March 27, 2008
True Love,
Is it some Princess Bride thing, or some thing where you just don’t feel anything? I love my ex, I love my friends, all of them. I love my current, I love my life. I do. Why is everything so fragile?
Mocha.
