What have I been up to?

Well I have been doing a lot of work with phone sex and have delved into the world of online promotion. I built 2 profiles so far on Niteflirt and am enjoying that process. I have been spending more time in fetish chat and bdsm chat on yahoo and am reading blogs on being a dominant woman. I find that my natural tendency is to be dominant and I have wanted to direct that energy into my profiles and come up with some things that I think are entertaining for me, at least.

Click here for the warm and fuzzy one
Click here to find out what kind of dominant I am

At this point I am looking for any input, or even critiques about the listings and how easy they are to navagate, the flow and the copy itself. Anyway. That is what I have been up to. Tell me, what have you been doing.

Mocha

I Have Been Bitching Alot Lately…

Mainly because I haven’t been laid in so damn long and I am hormonal and need some physical and sexual attention and healing. Sigh.. I can’t even write erotica properly. *shrug*
Getting off my Bitch Throne,
Mocha

Funny things get said to me…

pantylover_6969: mmm, so sweet and brown, sista!
Mocha: ?
pantylover_6969: been awhile…
pantylover_6969: hi u doin?
pantylover_6969: so sweet and brown…
pantylover_6969: nice and thick and full figured…i
pantylover_6969: nice nigger bitch to slave in bed…
Mocha:
Mocha: man you really lost your mind didn’t you
pantylover_6969: no, i love big black ladies…
pantylover_6969: can’t lie..u ladies r easy to cum…
pantylover_6969: my ancestors mut’ve had a damn good time being in a position to cum into your huts and just taking the pussy….
Mocha: you are proud to have rapists in your family?
Mocha: whoa.. that is interesting
pantylover_6969: anytime they felt like it….
pantylover_6969: it was legal back then…was the law that u were their property….
Mocha: rape is rape no matter how you like it
Mocha: but whatever.
pantylover_6969: to be honest with u, i secretely think about that while i am banging a black chick.would of course never tell them that….
Mocha: you must hate being impotent. Not being able to act out your sexual aggression on people you precieve as weaker or less powerful than yourself
Mocha: sad really. Oh and by the way. Unless you actually owned those slaves. It was illegal to even rape them. Funny what kinds of things happened to poor white trash back then.
Mocha: bye
pantylover_6969: u don’t really buy into that logic, do u?…lol…sounds so canned….blacks kill me with eir self-loathing ways…
pantylover_6969: i would love to do u while u wear a red rag on your head///yummy that would be…

Why would someone spend their time hating on me? Sigh..

Mocha

I Have Writer’s Block

A touch of it anyway. I need to get my creative juices flowing but I have a hard time writing when I don’t have a solid idea of what the hell I want to say.

Really?

Ok. I recently talked to someone who basicly showed their ass because they were rejected because all they had to show me as a pic wasn’t a smile, which I would have liked. No they showed me a pic of them from just under the nose to the inside of their pants. I wasn’t impressed. That and the wookie pelt was kinda impressive but I wasn’t attracted to the display. Was I harsh? Let me know…

mike_methany: Hi, I’m 43, 5 10″ brn hair and blue eyes, 190lbs, solid build, big arms and a warm smile. What do you look like?
Mocha: see profile
mike_methany: sexy pic
mike_methany: see me ok?
Mocha: I don’t really see anything but your fuzziness
mike_methany: wow, thats not too nice
Mocha:  wel me see.
Mocha: you have your face from the nose down and you made sure I got a bit of crotch with that.
Mocha: should I be nice?
mike_methany: wow
mike_methany: i guess its fair, because all i can see in ur pic is ur fatness
Mocha: dude it is a bbw room if I weren’t comfortable with being fat then I wouldn’t be here
Mocha: if you aren’t comfortable with fat women then you should be elsewhere
mike_methany: thats not exactly the point
mike_methany has closed photo sharing.

Mocha: the point is that I don’t really see you there. And because of that I am not impressed at your attempt at being a person
Mocha: good luck though
mike_methany: but it does look like u have nice tits
Mocha: and I hope you pull that stick out of your ass. Rejection is part of the game.
Mocha: fuck yourself you twit. I am not interested.
mike_methany: wow, and being a cunt is apparently part of the game
mike_methany: a part that you’ve mastered
Mocha: No I just happen to be bitchy with people who present themselves as penis life support
mike_methany: leave me alone, please
Mocha: you messaged me fool. you should have thought about the reaction involved, use iggy
mike_methany: leave me alone, please
Mocha: you messaged me fool. you should have thought about the reaction involved, use iggy
mike_methany: wow, you are soo smart
mike_methany: you must be on welfare
Mocha: Man did you have to resort to a stereotype to make yourself feel better?
Mocha: Oh my.. I am pierced to the soul at your half ass attempt to gather your dignity and self respect.

Mocha

Love? Riiight…

I had a conversation with a good friend of mine about men. I guess I am getting more and more jaded as time goes on. Feeling mostly like it isn’t really going to ever work for me because I feel so badly about men in general. Anyway it sort of went like this.

Good Friend: ah well … I sort of take it all in my stride mocha … don’t let it get to you dear … not worth the grief

Mocha: No, I guess you are right

Mocha: but it isn’t even entertaining anymore.

Good Friend: well it seems different people get different things out of chat … for me … it’s relief and escape … so that’s probably why I don’t take things too seriously while I’m in there

Mocha: I guess.

Mocha: I kinda of use it as a way to observe people as they would be if given the chance.

Mocha: I find it interesting when I am not annoyed.

Good Friend: well … there you go … any observations that I make are more generalized and not so in depth I suppose … but I do agree with the fact that some in there can be annoying … not that I’ve noticed so much with females

Good Friend: but some of the males definitely …, yes

Mocha: I find that chatting does at time erode my idea of men. Makes me more realistic but also disappoints me greatly.

Mocha: ok can you tell me why this even happened?

Mocha: john_harley3: got dc

Mocha: ah

john_harley3: i saw ur profile that u don’t like welcoming

Mocha: ok

john_harley3: cant we just view each other?

Mocha: good night

john_harley3: gn

john_harley3: may i add u?

Mocha: no.

Good Friend: male hormones … at their very basic level

Good Friend: little head thinking for the big one

Good Friend: as is more often the case

Mocha: But maybe I am not being fair. Do women do this as well?

Good Friend: well … not that much that I’ve noticed

Good Friend: although I quite often get invited to view cams of females

Good Friend: I suppose males are just more basic and forthright with there wants/desires … that and the fact that most of them can’t type for shit

Good Friend: lol

Mocha: I think I am very forth right about my desires, but I am not interested in fucking a penis life support system either. I think women are more interested in the kind of person she lets into her body.

Mocha: Not just the quality of sex, the personality or even the things that man has. But that he is a decent man to begin with. And so many men seem to not even have decency going for them.

Mocha: But I think basically we want the same thing. But it is important to women who they get it from as opposed to getting it at all.

Good Friend: yes … but I’ve noticed that some females can be very basic in their desires too … but I suppose each to their own

Mocha: I agree with that as well.

Good Friend: like I think I’ve said before … you would no doubt suffer from the same general problem … some guy thinks … BBW … probably has big tits … I’m gunna ask her to show … if she says f* off … well nothing lost

Good Friend: some of them have hides like a rhino … almost bulletproof

Mocha:

Mocha: But it makes it hard to get to know any man. Because even decent men can act like that. Often do.

Good Friend: oh yes … they can do

Mocha: I don’t want to share my body, my anything with any of the.

Mocha: them

Mocha: How can I get close when I know that he is that disgusting and is willing to use someone like that?

Mocha: that he isn’t as basically decent as he says he is.

Good Friend: I don’t know dear … that is not an easy question to answer

Good Friend: and maybe the answer doesn’t lie within yahoo

Mocha: I don’t think the answer lies anywhere

I am not sure what I am saying. I think I have been divorced so long and so heart broken, battered and used that I am not willing to deal with it anymore. That I am finding that men aren’t worth knowing in a romantic sense or even sexual context. Not that women are the answer, they have their own set of issues and complications. I think I have just gotten to a point in my life where as much as I would love to be loved and to love, who I love and what they are as a person isn’t something that I am willing to compromise on. But isn’t that the point of the new marriage numbers. Even in the shallowest of marriages or the deepest of relationships it is getting to where people aren’t willing to figure out how to deal and cope with the humaness of another human being because they don’t have to any more. A woman doesn’t have to settle for a man so that the bills will be paid. A man doesn’t have to settle for a woman that can’t please him sexually or that he can’t stand to be in a room with. People aren’t expect to suffer silently anymore. Sure you might attempt to make a commitment to someone but if it doesn’t work out then you can start over.

I just think I am not willing to really play the game anymore. I feel too old or mature or whatever to even pretend that I want to learn the rules. Men just seem so self serving and self centered. Catering to only their own whims and fleeting desires. What is a woman supposed to do? Or more importantly what am I going to do? Do I roll over and give up or do I keep plugging away, ever searching, hoping… who knows.

Mocha

Man it never changes

Recent conversation on yahoo where I didn’t answer some random message until I was ready to. And then I posed a question and got no answer. Read it and tell me what you think. I am very interested. Oh and no one’s name was changed to protect the innocent. There are no innocent.

abosmra75: hi
abosmra75: how r u
abosmra75: hey i talked to u in the room and u never answered me r u busy or ignoring me
Mocha: who are you?
Mocha: and why do you think you are entitled to my attention?
abosmra75: fuck u who do u think u r
Mocha: someone who is messaged quite a goddamn bit
Mocha: someone who is bored with the same lines tossed at her by people who don’t think before speaking
Mocha: so why should I waste time and energy on you?
Mocha: what makes you different?
Mocha: if you can’t answer the question then you proved that you are no different then those who seek my attention for nothing.
Mocha: but don’t ask me who the fuck I think I am when you messaged me.
Mocha: I didn’t think so

Mocha

Just rambling about stuff…

I am actually sitting steady in my chair trying to think of what to do to try and get my weight loss started again. I guess I will have to start rethinking my little eating plan. Get outside a little more regularly. You know the normal stuff. See if I can eat a little cleaner.

I am working on the website and am coming to a bit of a road block. I want the site to be clean and fresh looking but am not sure what color scheme would say that on a naughty site about bbws.  I have tried pink and was a little disappointed in the color by it’s cutesy nature. I want something a little less cute and a little more sexy. Black and pink instead? Well I will try it. *shrug*.

Mocha

I have gotten back some feedback

About this blog and about the story I wrote. I am really excited about the positive about it. I have submitted part 2 of Patience and am waiting for Literotica.com to go on and approve it so that it can go up. I am in the middle of writing part 3. I am not sure how far or how long this series will go but I am so excited at the idea of it just existing at all to be honest. As I write more and more about Patience and Riley they started off being based on myself and others and now are becoming more themselves in my head. With real voices of their own.

I am working franticly on my websites and want to have something to show for all of this hard work before the end of the summer, don’t quote me on that as a launch date. I have a lot of reading to do and ideas to mesh into something that would actually work. But really it is the feedback that is keeping me going, letting me know that maybe I am doing something worthwhile. Well wish me luck and keep me on the straight and narrow.

thanks y’all,

Mocha

P.S. For those who haven’t read the first installment I will repost the link.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=357270

I wrote a story…

And I am going to give you a link directly to it. Now if you read it please leave some feed back and of course please, please, please vote on it. I can’t wait to see what y’all think. I am going try to make this story a chain story so I will hopefully have regular installments of Patience and Riley.Oh and that pic above is one I drew of them Yes she is based on me and well he… he is based on quite a few different men I have found attractive and have had relationships with but no one was harmed in the making of this erotica.

Mocha.

there is the link:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=357270