Feeling like an idiot.

So I am having this car restored. Or at least I thought I was. So this is the deal. The car costs me 3500 big ones. I have basicly been paying this dude 3 out of 4 checks a month since Christmas. I have not bought anything for myself in that time, nothing so much as a pair of dirty draws. Nothing. I missed Christmas, friend birthdays and my own to get this fucking thing paid off. And I am all but crying now that I write this.

I am so tired of men, y’all have to admit, some of y’all are shit. I am so tired of being run around. Is it too much to ask to get my car put together, running and reliable? All I wanted was a decent car that I could afford. This has me wanting to move back to the city and walk my way around it again. I HATE LIVING IN THE GOD DAMN BURBS. I hate it, fucking hate having to ask anyone for a ride anywhere, I FUCKING HATE WAITING ON SOMEONE TO DECIEDE TO GIVE ME A RIDE WHEN I ASK. AND I FUCKING HATE HIPPIES. Sigh… Why is this so hard? Why can’t people just fucking do what they say they are going to goddamn do when you give them the money to do so. This is exactly why I didn’t want to pay the money all at once, I didn’t want to be in this place in my life. Out of 3500 bucks, chewing my pride and regretting moving out of the city.

My nerves are shot, my faith in people… well that hasn’t been there in a long time. My boyfriend is trying. I am trying but it isn’t working very well.

The worst of it is that he is saying that he didn’t get the Feb 11th payment for 400 bucks and I can’t find the goddamn receipt, thank you ADD, and I don’t get paid for another week. So no more money till then.

I just want my car and I want it to work.


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