Yeah my ass is fat and ….

But damn it I do more with more than most women do with less You don’t have to be hungry to have a man, to be beautiful or to be happy damn it….

Here goes…let me start with self esteem. I was watching a comedy video of Kat Williams, the smallest pimp I have ever seen. And he was saying something about how we women let men control something that is yours, our self esteem. We have the pussy and could rule the world (and you know we could), you know supply and demand. Anyhoo he was saying that you have to be the shit to yourself, read: TO YO’SELF. Don’t wait on some man to tell you that you are the shit… hence the term SELF ESTEEM. Not myman esteem, not themdudesoverthere esteem. That is the esteem of YO’Self. I laughed but it is true. And laughed hard as he made that point and then realized that he was sooo right. If it is self esteem and it is the esteem of myself then I am the only one who can control and affect it. Sure there are some outside pressures. But I do thank god that I live in the south, where a bountiful booty is a thing of beauty. Where my abundance of boobage is awe inspiring and where I never really felt ugly, though I know I am more chunky than I am supposed to be. So for me other than wanting to be a size 14 again… it is about my health. It is about maintaining a quality of life that has everything to do with how I feel.

Oh and there was something else an ex-boyfriend of mine said when I was having a fat day. He said that I was 1. beautiful but the thing that really really stuck was that he said ‘Men are a dime a dozen and every woman has a dollar.’ And I have been working with that idea since. For me, meaning that if I can just wait 5 minutes some other dude will be up that looks just as good, if not better, who will treat me like I want to be treated and if he can’t then I can certainly wait 5 more mins.

I got my dollar and some change with all the time in the world to buy,

Mocha.

P.S. why on earth would I want to be 6ft tall, 120 lbs with size 12 feet and be a size 0? When I could be 5ft4, 180lbs, a size 14, get what I want and have had a few decent meals too? What ever happened to the perfect 10…. someone has been subtracting. M

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